The troubles stemmed from the fact that I had procrastinated until I had about 2 hours to do all of this. On top of that, it was my first time cooking scallion pancakes. Quickly, I realized perfect wasn’t gonna happen as I encountered issues on literally every step and had to make several quick decisions. Here are all the funny little situations I created and the subsequent adaptations.

1. Combine boiling water and flour to form a dough

You might be able to guess what went wrong here just from the instruction itself.

The Serious Eats article goes into more depth about why hot water should be used, but in summary, the heat cooks the proteins in the flour which makes it harder for gluten to form. This leads to a better texture for flaky layers rather than a more bready texture from cold water doughs.

I’d figured I’d want some nice flaky layers, so I threw some water in the kettle and started reading ahead about how to knead the dough. I then measured out flour into a metal bowl and started chopping scallions, impatiently waiting to hear bubbling.

As soon as I poured the boiling water into the bowl, I realized my mistake. For some reason, I thought that the room temperature flour would somehow cool down the magma I had just mixed into it.

Luckily, it did absorb some of the heat as I only slightly burned my hands trying to knead the mixture, running over to the sink to immediately wash off the hot flour sticking to my fingers. Not my smartest moment, but I had no time to dwell on the fact. I added more cold water and flour little by little until the dough was at a temperature that I could touch without wincing. I pushed and pulled the dough until I got a semi smooth ball. You can see in the picture there are small specks of flour that I couldn’t fully incorporate in the rush.

My mood ➡ whatever, gotta keep moving.

2. Knead the dough until it’s smooth and let it rest

I didn’t really have a picture for this step as it pretty much looked the same as before, so here is a picture of the scallion paste I made to spread on the inside of the pancakes while I waited for the dough to rest. Inside the spread are of course scallions, olive oil, salt, white pepper, a little bit of garlic, and flour.

The mess up in this step was mostly just that I did not account for dough rest time when thinking that two hours would be enough time to cook. Both recipes recommend letting the dough rest after kneading for at least 30 minutes to 1 hour. That would be 25 to 50 percent of my entire 2 hour budget.

I waited the absolute minimum amount of time before proceeding to the next step.

3. Cut the dough into several even portioned balls and flatten them out with a rolling pin

Yeah those balls were definitely not evenly portioned even though I used a bench knife to divide them. Also the reason why it looks like I flattened out the first ball there with my hands is because I flattened it out with my hands.

I had totally forgotten to buy a rolling pin when I went to the grocery store in the morning, so I improvised and smushed it down with my meaty paws. Not the prettiest results, but it got the job done for the first few balls.

My only worry was that the dough wouldn’t be thin/flat enough to cook properly. I ran into a similar problem when I tried to cook turnip cakes for Chinese New Year. The batter was thicker than expected and I didn’t steam it for enough time, leading the inside to be undercooked. I had to cut it into smaller pieces and really squash it for it to finish cooking on the pan. That was my contingency plan if the pancakes weren’t looking too hot on the stove later.

4. Add the scallions, roll up the dough, and fold it over itself to create the layers

Between this step and the previous, I put my thinking cap on and had a genius idea. I could use my cylindric water bottle as a rolling pin 🤯. I lathered the flattened pancakes with the scallion paste and bundled them back up into little spirals.

I then rolled them out again with my newfound (washed and sanitized) tool. It got a little messy as the scallion paste burst through the dough under the pressure, splashing oil all over.

This wasn’t the end of the world, but it definitely added to the chaos. I felt more and more anxious as I was running out of time.

At least the more difficult and time consuming part was over. All I had left was to pan fry the flattened pancakes, easy peasy.

5. Flatten out the dough again and fry it on a pan until crispy and golden

I won’t lie, the first pancake I tried to heat up was not looking ideal. It fried fine on the first side, but when I tried to flip it over I somehow ruined the structural integrity and it began falling apart.

The scallions started slipping out. The dough was twisting and unraveling like a thread. In my head, the darty denizens were about to receive slop. I hastily tried to shoved the scallions back between the layers to no avail.

It was beyond repair, so I held the dough down at odd angles to get some color on each individual surface of the odd shape before quickly moving on.

Cooking the second and third pancakes definitely went smoother, but I started seeing, or rather, smelling another problem. I didn’t want the final product to be too oily so I didn’t use too much oil initially. In addition, I didn’t think to replace the oil that was absorbed by the pancakes, so by the fourth one the pan was dry boiling. I immediately took it off the stovetop and saw that it was smoking. I cracked open a window and started fanning up and down with a cutting board.

This feels super melodramatic to say now, but at that moment I had an epiphany that it was all going to be okay. It was supposed to be a fun day going to a fun event. I took a risk to try and bring something unique for people to enjoy. Why was I stressing so much about everything being perfect? I was definitely late at this point, not even done cooking, and waiting for the pan to cool down. I needed to relax.

To be honest, I’m almost done writing this post, and I realize that I’m feeling the same way now. This blog was supposed to be a way to journal and express my thoughts casually. Instead I’m worrying about sentence structure, comma usage (fanboys ftw), analogies, themes, and morals. I’m worrying about writing an emotionally intelligent thinkpiece that’s also humorous and entertaining. I’m worrying about living up to impossible standards that I’ve set for myself. That’s probably why my last post was almost two years ago.

I wanted to keep a log of what I was doing week to week and be able to look back on my life to see how I’d changed as a person over time. It’s ironic that in my letter from two years ago, I already talked about “chasing an unachievable perfection”. I don’t want to fall back into the rhythms of old habits again the same way I did last time I identified them.

I’ve struggled over the past two years to sustain interest in hobbies that I know I’m passionate about. There’s this vicious cycle where I gain the motivation to learn more and work on a skill, but then as soon as it becomes difficult, I drop it and move onto the next project.

Learning any skill IS difficult and will have a learning plateau that will test your desire to continue. I think I really hate reaching this hump and feeling helpless as the learning progress slows down to a painful crawl. Still, I’ve realized that there are no shortcuts here and it just takes a lot of self-motivation, patience, and determination to move forward. It also takes a willingness to accept that I can’t be perfect on that endless climb.

Anyways, after the pan cooled down, I finished cooking the last couple without any problems. I took my time to enjoy the aroma of fragrant green onions blending with fresh air coming in through the open windows. I packed up the scallion pancakes, threw together black vinegar and soy sauce for a simple dip, then started making my way to the party. I left the dishwashing for later that night. Or maybe the next day. I don’t remember, but I guess the story doesn’t have to be perfect.

I thought that line would hit harder, but I guess the ending of this post doesn’t have to be perfect either.

hippopop